Bits of Nonsense Come in Threes

Affing Funny, Watch Yer Bean, Do It

2011-11-22T10:46:00.000-06:00

Giraffe. Carafe. Laugh.
Beans and seeds. Which are which?
What if enthusiastic people actually did things?

See Brockeim.com There is little there to see, but, still, you should. I need the traffic, the advertising looks and product sales. Come, Christmas is coming.

I Am (not) the Greatest, Full of Hot Air, Giving You the Bird

2011-08-22T11:11:00.000-05:00

I had a shot at greatness. I took aim, and pulled the trigger. Perfect bulls-eye. RIP, Greatness.
Few things are sadder than a dying balloon.
"'Scuze me while I kiss the sky... and kill some green pigs when I land." - Jimi Hendrix, noted Angry Birds aficionado.

Search Amazon.com for Angry Birds

Jimi Hendrix Video, Purple Haze (mp3)

5:00, Hos, Lick It

2011-07-05T17:12:00.000-05:00

The best time is the five minutes before sleeping, when dreaming while still awake.
HoHos were best when wrapped in aluminum foil.
Taste life.

Hostess Ho-Hos 2 boxes 20 cakes

Tying the Knot, Basketing Eggs, Righteous Clout

2011-06-28T10:42:00.001-05:00

Sometimes a knot is just a tangled rope.
Collect your thoughts all in one basket.
It isn't what you know, but who you know. Love your neighbor.

Search Amazon.com for rope

ToolTalk, Liberian, What's Bad is Good for You

2011-06-24T10:38:00.000-05:00

Have you ever really talked with your writing tools? Pencils? Pens. Word processing software?
Give me liberty. I don't want the death part.
Every once in a while, we all drink bad coffee. Be thankful anyway. To be able to tell the difference means you are wealthy enough to afford either.

Writing Tools: 50 Essential Strategies for Every Writer

Play (Play), Scent of Now, Even Enemies

2011-06-20T12:54:00.000-05:00

Play.
Smelling the roses is easy. Smell the ordinary scents of life too.
Always regard people as important. No one should be excluded.

Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul

ZYXing, Duh?, Sing Outloud

2011-06-08T11:48:00.000-05:00

So much of life is alphabetical. Know your ABCs.
Plan as if your opponent is brilliant.
Sing until you are hoarse. Life is too short to save your voice.

ABC (The Alphabet Song)

Dracula, Panic Attacking, Confusion

2011-05-23T07:19:00.000-05:00

Dracula... curricula. Not sure what to make of this rhyme.
Is it better to freak out or panic?
I asked, "You must be kidding." He said, "Yes, I am."

Dracula (free for Kindle)

Being Energetic, Are You a Repeater?, Freedom's Myth

2011-05-17T07:06:00.000-05:00

A lot of energy is used up chasing, and not enough being.
If someone read all your Tweets, would they think you are interesting or think you think everyone else is interesting.
The best things aren't free. French fries, for example, are $1.50.

French Fries

Philology, Make Love (Which Means Coffee), Yes We Can?

2011-05-14T20:43:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, Dr. Phil is right.
Makes coffee, not war.
If a phrase reads, "Yes, we can," what are you doing?

Yes We Can Can

Zombies, Vampires, Fairies

2011-05-13T22:54:00.001-05:00

Are zombies ever nice?
What if a vegan becomes a vampire?
If a person has dentures, loses them, does the Tooth Fairy lay down some cash?

Search Amazon.com for zombies

Cancel?, No Soup Stain For You!, Shut Up Already

2011-05-10T15:09:00.000-05:00

What if Monday was cancelled? Would the world be happier?
Ties can hide soup stains on shirts.
Fight for things which matter. Get off the bandwagon and into the trenches.

Larry Thomas - The Soup Nazi - Autographed 8x10 Photograph with No Soup For You Inscription

Egg Flower Child, Chicken Power, Conspiracy Quacks

2011-05-05T15:52:00.000-05:00

Don't put all your eggplants in one flower basket.
If the chicken had never crossed the road, what questions would we be asking?
Those who are paranoid of Osama bin Laden conspiracy theorists... what's that?

Ferry-Morse 3053 Organic Eggplant Seeds, Early Long Purple (500 Milligram Packet)

Lesson from Osama bin Laden's Courier, Kindle Bible, Green M&M

2011-05-03T10:00:00.000-05:00

Lesson from Osama bin Laden's courier: Never ask on your cell phone, "Can you hear me now?"
Kindle vs paper books thought: Do you suppose Johannes Gutenberg's friends secretly thought, "They will never read the Bible like that. Not fancy enough"?
Do a handful of yellow and blue M&Ms achieve the same result as green M&Ms?

Free on Kindle: The Holy Bible English Standard Version (ESV)
Same book, not on Kindle: The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Red Letter Edition)
Not on Kindle: M&M - Milk Chocolate, 56 oz bag

Dirt Gift, Easy Does It, Osama bin Laden is Dead

2011-05-02T13:55:00.002-05:00

Coffee comes from dirt. And God.
It is really a lot easier than we pretend.
Out of nonsense for the day: Osama bin Laden is dead.

Pretend Soup and Other Real Recipes: A Cookbook for Preschoolers and Up

'Bama Tornado, Wheeling No Deal, Later Dude

2011-04-27T23:51:00.000-05:00

Alabama's tornado: Not nonsense. Give to your local charity.
I reinvented the wheel. Mine is square. Back to the drawing board.
No matter how late it is, tomorrow is still not yet.

Search Amazon.com for tornado

VetSpeak, 1+1=2, Now

2011-04-26T23:43:00.000-05:00

Tried to get a pedicure. Nope. My dog is still sick.
I ask the easy questions no one else bothers to ask.
Hunger happens at the most inconvenient times.

Ped Egg Pedicure Foot File, Colors may vary

Nuthin', Reinspire, Espresso Love

2011-04-25T09:12:00.001-05:00

An awful lot doesn't get done by people who don't do anything.
Uninspired? Breathe in. Next...?
One shot or two?

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

Maxwell's Silver Hammer Lining, You Gotta Move It, Firsting the Last

2011-04-20T12:19:00.000-05:00

Behind every cloud, there is a silver lining. Behind that, the IRS.
"Something in the way she moves..." words George Harrison of the Beatles said when hiring a female-owned relocation company.
Enjoy today's cup of coffee as if it were your first. Or last.

Something In The Way She Moves

Happy Happy, Grass Eaters, Opportunity Knocks (and Left a Message)

2011-04-19T18:28:00.000-05:00

Schedule happiness. Don't pencil it in. When? Now.
What if cannibals became vegetarians?
And... there you have it. Oh, no, wait. You missed it?

Cannibal! The Musical: 13th Anniversary Edition

Excuses, George's Parents, March of Romance

2011-04-18T13:52:00.000-05:00

Mondays are just another excuse for coffee.
Georgie Porgie... what about Mister and Missus Porgie?
The march starts here, ends there, relentless in between... slow or fast, the march charges forward.

Favorite Nursery Rhymes from Mother Goose

Kiss and Tell, Freedom of Choice, Remove Corn Cob

2011-04-14T13:48:00.000-05:00

If I want to kiss the sky, how tall must I be? Scuze me?
Which is better, Tuesday or Thursday?
Complain less.

Libby's Whole Kernel Sweet Corn, 8.5-Ounce Cans (Pack of 12)

Espress Yourself, Roachy, Always (Now)

2011-04-13T15:40:00.000-05:00

I love the smell of espresso in the morning.
Don't use a roach clip to close your coffee bag.
Do all things at once always.

Good Cook Touch Set of 2 Bag Clips (with my review)
Beach - Morning Best Seller Door Poster Print, 62x21 Door Poster Print, 62x21 Door Poster Print, 62x21 (pictured)
Beach - Morning Best Seller Door Poster Print, 62x21 Door Poster Print, 62x21 Door Poster Print, 62x21

Sponge Bathing, Monkey Squatting, The Verte Bra

2011-04-12T22:48:00.001-05:00

Sponge baths do not always involve things which do not involve bathing.
I don't care what the monkey did. Clean it up.
Vertebra is not a female undergarment.

Scotch-Brite Heavy Duty Scrub Sponges 15 Count (with my review)
Lumbar Vertebra Coffee Mug, 10 oz. (pictured)

Sexy Threesome, Sounds Naughty, Truth is Messy

2011-04-11T06:01:00.002-05:00

There is coffee, there is romance, there is poetry.
Diphthong... a word worth looking up.
Few things diffuse confusion like truth. Few things blow up into confusion like truth.

Worth seeing:
Yin and Yang: Espresso in March, with a Drop of Cream
Coffee and Chai - A poem for an old friend
The Diphthong Song

Scary, Scary, Scary

2011-04-08T12:03:00.000-05:00

Blank pages are scary.
Completely written pages are scary.
Writing the words in between is scary.

Wire-O Basics Designer Black Ribbed Lined 5x7 (with my review)

Maxwelling Out on Cliches, Ian in Not Ian, Worst of Puns

2011-04-07T16:09:00.000-05:00

'Good to the last drop'? Does anyone really believe that? The first drop is always the best.
Ivorian and ovarian are two different words.
If bad romances go under, does that mean purple prose is in the red, making the editor blue?

Search Amazon.com for Maxwell House coffee

Blindness Before Beauty, Broken Rhyme, Ecstatic Pleasure

2011-04-06T07:37:00.000-05:00

If you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world... you will go blind. Such beauty no man's eyes can withstand.
I found a poem. Walking on my way to a cafe, as I would, I tripped over it. Unfortunately, it broke.
"I'll have what she's having," was in no way a reference to coffee, though it can taste almost 'that' good.

When Harry Met Sally

Doctor Doctor, Just Do (It), Predictable Fate

2011-04-05T15:19:00.000-05:00

Is getting the third degree akin to receiving a PhD in getting the business.
Do something. Anything. Do not read another book about it. Do not talk about it. Do not plan to think about it. Do something.
Things rarely happen that way. They could happen the other way, but, you never know.

Doctor's Bag

Babs, Watch What You Throw, Stinky

2011-04-04T12:47:00.000-05:00

The difference between barber and Barbera is an 'a'.
Choctaw Ridge. Conjures up only one thing, doesn't it? Are you singing yet?
If it smells funny, don't eat it.

Ode To Billie Joe (download for a buck)

Deading Live, Black is Beautiful, It Really Happened

2011-04-01T20:28:00.000-05:00

There are so many living people who aren't dead.
Has the Rebecca Black "Friday" video redefined Fridays? Saturday night's alright for fighting? Sunday morning? Monday, Monday? Tuesday afternoon? What about Wednesday and Thursday?
A fight broke out at a peace protest. A smoker lit up while arguing for the Clean Air Act. Strange things in these strange days.

Friday

God's Gift to Mankind, Good to Last Drop, Trash Talk

2011-03-31T11:59:00.000-05:00

On the eighth day, or maybe the ninth, God made coffee. Or maybe it was the third day? Heavenly just the same.
No, those invested in Dracula's company are not called stakeholders. They are called 'lunch.'
Who takes out garbage men's trash?

Terminated. Carrot Talk, Dough Boy

2011-03-29T16:37:00.000-05:00

When I think of termites, I think...
Do vegetarians, when lollygagging, ever 'chew the carrot'?
The hardest thing about using catchphrases is not using them later. D'oh!

The Simpsons and Philosophy: The D'oh! of Homer (Popular Culture and Philosophy)

The Simpsons and Philosophy: The D'oh! of Homer (Popular Culture and Philosophy)

Love Is, TV Love, Gerbil Power

2011-03-28T17:38:00.000-05:00

No more beautiful, meaningful word in English: love. Mellifluous? Let its truth and statement be unconstrained. Never glib, always true.
A good TV can be stronger than a great commercial tune.
Which races those wheels harder, gerbils or hamsters?

Super Pet Hamster Silent Spinner 6-1/2-Inch Regular Exercise Wheel, Colors Vary

Giving a Six Fingers, Fly Like a Wild and Crazy Guy, Honky Sounds

2011-03-25T12:44:00.000-05:00

What if Inigo Montayo never found the six-fingered man, or Wesley was never born-again?
Could Steve Miller and Steve Martin be related?
The white noise I keep hearing... audio racism?

Search Amazon.com for Princess Bride

Sweetness, Audacity Rejected, Stepping Up

2011-03-24T15:12:00.000-05:00

A touch of the hand can be more powerful than the most sensual kiss.
Hope is not something we need to elect someone to have.
In a footrace (no flying allowed), who would win? Superman, the Flash or Wonderwoman?

Wonder Woman

I'm Where?, Slapsticking, Organic Hero

2011-03-23T10:49:00.000-05:00

What good ever comes from the phrase, "Where am I?"
The funniest things are ordinary events turned upside.
Espresso can do anything.

Where Am I Going

SheepTalk, Shy Shy, TomorrowLand

2011-03-22T18:20:00.000-05:00

Ewwwee does not rhyme with ewe, no matter what the sheep smells like.
Life is too short to be shy. Introduce yourself more often.
Pretend it is tomorrow. It will be soon enough.

Aurora Plush 10" Aurora Babies Lovely

Goody, Invisiblility, Uh Oh

2011-03-21T08:19:00.000-05:00

Those people who say, "It's all good," may be cliche but they are more often right.
Many of our predilections involve what we cannot see. Be more romantic and more faithful.
"It's not what it looks like." No one ever says that being suspected of doing a good thing.

Fun World Costumes Men's Mens Got Busted Penitentiary-Plus

Supermooning, On Beauty, Coffee Day

2011-03-18T09:59:00.000-05:00

Supermoon does not refer to Sports Illustrated supermodel Irina Shayk or Alyssa Miller pulling down their bikini and showing us their backside... though I have no doubt it would be a super... moon.
When anticipation takes over the beauty of reality, then, are we missing the point?
Buy a cup of coffee for the person behind you in line.

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Magazine Issue 2011

Aromology, When You're Happy and You Know It, Adam's Other Apple

2011-03-17T16:08:00.000-05:00

Few scents equal that of a forest in springtime.
There are days so filled with joy that nothing can remove a smile.
"How do like them apples?" - something Adam never said to Eve.

Good Will Hunting (Miramax Collector's Series)

The Weather is Looking Frightful?, Midnight Sobriety, Orangology

2011-03-16T12:15:00.000-05:00

What songs do polar bears sing during the Christmas holidays?
Late nights can be more sober than the blackest coffee.
Not much rhymes with 'onion' either.

TCM Greatest Classic Films Collection: Holiday (Christmas in Connecticut 1945 / A Christmas Carol 1938 / The Shop Around the Corner / It Happened on 5th Avenue)

Sun Again?, Shot Up, Honestly

2011-03-15T08:10:00.000-05:00

The sun is up once again. Who wudda thunk?
'Shot to the heart' is not a reference to a shot of espresso injected directly into the bloodstream. Good idea, though.
Be honest when you disagree.

Shot Through the Heart

No Dixie Here, Crowding, Sunny Days

2011-03-14T15:51:00.000-05:00

Whistlestop... what if the train uses bells?
There is one in every crowd... even when we are alone.
Live in today's sunshine. Don't wait for tomorrow's sun.

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistlestop Cafe

Lit Up, Sheet of Slime, Gertrudian Question

2011-03-11T12:11:00.000-06:00

Incensed, incense. Makes me think.
Film... a word that now means the stuff on top of old milk and not cameras.
How is it Jack is in the box and not Gertrude?

Search Amazon.com for Jack in the box

Car Talk, Codified, Hoo Ha

2011-03-10T12:34:00.002-06:00

Cars idling... idle hands. Both involve a workshop.
Everything is coded.
The funniest things in life won't be found in a blog.

Cars (Blu-ray/DVD Combo in Blu-ray Packaging)

Lost and (Still Lost), Idea-ology, Death Among No One

2011-03-09T08:53:00.000-06:00

I was wondering where I was going, but then I remembered: I already left.
Think about fun ideas.
Nobodies... must it end in 'dies'?

World Map (Vintage Style) Art Poster Print - 24x36 Poster Print, 36x24 Poster Print, 36x24

Hope Is Alive, Standing Up, Tuesday Bliss

2011-03-08T15:44:00.000-06:00

Despite all the nonsense, there is always, still always, hope.
Columns. More should be said about what holds some buildings up. They matter. They stand for something.
Gentle addictions like chocolate ease Tuesday afternoons.

Dove Milk & Dark Chocolate Variety Pack, 24-Ounce Package

Hat Tricking, A (An?), Dream

2011-03-07T12:52:00.000-06:00

If home is where you hang your hat, or where your heart is, but there's no place like home, then what?
Gimme a... a... gimme... a .. an... hmm... (What I really need is a memory. If you have one, "gimme a memory...")
What are dreams made of?

Reviews and romance: http://brockeim.blogspot.com

A Kiss To Build A Dream On song

Short, Long, All

2011-03-04T14:01:00.000-06:00

Use short words.
Think long thoughts.
Remember everything.

Champion Men's Intent Short, Black/Carbon, Small

Someone Has Seen, Snot-Head, Get Er Done

2011-03-03T11:32:00.000-06:00

What do you mean no one has seen the troubles you've seen? You've seen them.
Kids with funny names are weird. No getting around that. Tell me, if a kid is named, 'Booger', aren't you going to laugh at him? Then, he should go home and punch his dad. No kid deserves that.
Resolution. Needs resolve to find it.

Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

What You Say?, Aching Dental, Gin Rummies

2011-03-02T14:26:00.000-06:00

Some myths are true.
Toothaches are better than no teeth. Better to have teethed and ached rather than never teethed at all.
Avoid gin joints. No good ever comes from them. (see the video from Casablanca)

Better To Have Lost In Love (Than Never To Have Loved At All) (Remastered Version)

The Ubiquitous Sigh, Hmm/Ah/Mmm, Panceatic Failure

2011-03-01T11:44:00.000-06:00

A truly romantic man of the world can sigh in five languages, each sadder than the other.
Amusement requires musement, but not all musers are amused.
Coffee cannot cure some things.

TCM Greatest Classic Films Collection: Romantic Comedies (Adam's Rib / Woman of the Year / The Philadelphia Story / Bringing Up Baby)

Marshy Marshy Mashy, Ice Ice Baby, If You Only Knew

2011-02-28T08:43:00.000-06:00

Toasted marshmallows. Need I say more?
Ice. So few letters, so many meanings.
Everyone's living room has stories.

Ice Ice Baby

http://brockeim.com

Gimme Coffee or Death, JumboTalk, Ha (More Death)

2011-02-25T13:52:00.000-06:00

Maslow's hierarchy of needs should have at the bottom 'coffee'. A primary need, don'tcha know?
Mumbo and/or jumbo. Some days are packed with both.
Has anyone every been tickled to death?

Toward a Psychology of Being, 3rd Edition
Search Amazon.com for coffee

Steamy Ideas, Veggie Tales, Trigger Your Vigor

2011-02-24T13:43:00.000-06:00

Where there is steam, there's... steam? (What were you expecting? Fire?)
"Cannibals Anonymous" is not meant for people who are curious. They think eating a vegetarian is a way to get their daily veggies.
Live vigorously.

Search Amazon.com for Cannibals
Search Amazon.com for Veggie Tales

Laughter is Destructive, Benny at the Jets, Or Boxers?

2011-02-23T11:38:00.000-06:00

What if everyone, everywhere, laughed at once? Would the world shake?
Guys named Benny are born musicians. Take a guy named Benny, and you can make him a star.
Briefs aren't always brief. What gives?

Very Best of Benny Goodman
Search Amazon.com for lingerie

Scat Cat Falls Flat, Gray Or Not, Paint Remover

2011-02-22T17:25:00.000-06:00

So a guy is singing scat, you know, but he gets stuck. He can't think of a word that rhymes with babammeemaimoa.
What if the word was castover instead of overcast? Would anything change?
Turpentine. That's right. I said it. Tur-pen-tine.

Ozzy the Seal, Deaf (Don't Be Dumb), All Green

2011-02-21T10:17:00.000-06:00

Wouldn't it be cool to hear seals croaking and barking the music to Black Sabbath's - Ozzy Osbourne's "Iron Man." Even cooler if Ozzy sang along.
No one ever said there would be days like these? What, are you deaf? Of course they did.
Why aren't all green leafy vegetables called "greens"?

Daily Nonsense, Barrified, Stut (er?)

2011-02-18T11:16:00.000-06:00

This is my day job.
"I write the songs that make the young girls cry," sang Barry Manilow. He understood.
Disemememember? That would be as described in "A Tale of T-t-t-two Heeearts."

Search Amazon.com for Barry Manilow
The Works of Edgar Allan Poe - Volume 1

2-17, Squirrel, Mikey Likes It (Who?)

2011-02-17T10:46:00.000-06:00

Celebrate February 17.
Be kind to squirrels.
Quick, count how many people you know named Mike.

Plush Nutsie Brown Squirrel 8" (cute)
Life Cereal, 15-Ounce Box (Pack of 6)

Truth or Dare, Lies and More Lies, I Dunno

2011-02-16T12:23:00.000-06:00

A few things are absolutely true. Hold on to these.
A few things are absolutely false. Reject these.
A few things are absolutely uncertain. Acknowledge these.

Focus on the Family's The Truth Project: Daily Travelogue
A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Waxing Unpoetically, Halitosisonomy, Honey Stuff

2011-02-15T09:50:00.000-06:00

Ear wax. Different than bee's wax? Want to know about my ear wax? Mind your own bee's wax.
Of all the things to name someone, Chicken Breath is not one of those names.
A great mystery it is to think of how certain foods were developed or discovered.

Search Amazon.com for honey

Tequila Orange, VD, Oops (Hello)

2011-02-14T09:33:00.000-06:00

I once rewrote the words to the song "Tequila," previously made famous by the Champs and Pee Wee Herman. In my version, it is about orange juice.
Good thing Valentine's Day is not represented by a liver. St. Patrick's Day could be.
Just think, in nine month there will be a small spike in the population.

Search Amazon.com for tequila posters

Fishing for a Deep Tale, Black and Blueberry Sal, Vowel's Up

2011-02-11T17:32:00.000-06:00

When I was a kid, the snow was so deep... (you finish it with something funny)
I'm not talking about Blueberry Sal. No, no. The other one, the one who isn't famous, and probably shouldn't be. The one who better known for what happened with the blueberries, not the one who was looking for them.
Some vowels are more vowely than others. Which is your favorite?

Blueberries for Sal (Puffin Storytime)

Maybe I'm Amazed, The Stones Rolling, Rye Ain't Right

2011-02-10T11:21:00.000-06:00

Just because I understand does not mean I am not also amazed.
Why does, "Please allow me to introduce myself," tend to come from those we wish wouldn't?
PBJ. Yes, that's peanut butter and jelly, as in the sandwich. However, not all breads should be used.

Search Amazon.com for Rolling Stones

Pickled Greens, Slip of the (oh my), Pooka Power

2011-02-09T18:04:00.000-06:00

Something tells me that... pickles are sometimes green.
More tongue twisters need to involve the letter 'Q'.
I have never, ever, no, not ever been a rabbit.

Pickle Adhesive Bandages in Tin Box with Free Toy Inside.

Harvey

The Truth Is, Just a Little Pot, Self-Righteous

2011-02-08T10:01:00.000-06:00

Everything posted here is true, except for the parts I made up.
A chicken in every pot? What if it is a small pot?
Someone once said, "Right," and, in fact, they were.

A Chicken in Every Pot: Global Recipes for the Wold's Most Popular Bird (Capital Lifestyles)

Fortunate One, Oranging, She Got So Drunk She...

2011-02-07T05:16:00.003-06:00

Fortune cookie says, "A change of location may be in order." So I took a step to the right. Fortune cookie was wrong, so I ate it.
Orange orangutans wrangling around tangy oratory arrangements.
Goldilocks and the Three Beers: Goldy gets tipsy after she raids the liquor cabinet of a cottage in the woods. She learns beer goes with porridge all too well, and, passes out in a baby's bed (after throwing up in mom's and dad's bed).

Search Amazon.com for liquor cabinets

Search Amazon.com for Goldilocks and the Three Bears

Belles Belles Belles, Snow Way, This Away

2011-02-04T10:51:00.000-06:00

I've never been the belle of the ball... though I had ringing in my ears once from a party.
Snow business like no business.
The farther you moved forward, the farther things move behind you.

Adult Belle At the Ball Costume (Size 6-8)

Biscuiting, Arting, Quoting

2011-02-03T11:33:00.000-06:00

What's the opposite of a rubber biscuit?
Art for Art's sake... something Art Garfunkel should have said.
When we quote the same sources over and over again, have we found a prophet or are we myopic?

Blues Brothers - Rubber Biscuit

Blizzard, Blizzard, Blizzard (Snow Tip, Joy, Fun)

2011-02-02T09:41:00.000-06:00

Blizzard tip: Drink coffee.
Blizzard joy: No mosquitoes.
Blizzard fun: Really big snow angels.

Snow Angel Women's Doeskin Zip T Neck Top,Black,Medium

Not Tutankhamun, Slice the Baby, Numero One-O

2011-02-01T07:36:00.000-06:00

Few trumpets are as loud as that of the coming army's enemy. Better to toot only your own horn.
Bassinet. Bayonet. Different, you know.
1, 1, 1, 1... averages 1

Search Amazon.com for Bayonet

Vegging Burgers, More Than We Sought, Some Who Wander are Lost

2011-01-31T01:59:00.000-06:00

Can someone veg out, yet eat a hamburger?
Superlatives and laxatives. Hopefully, for all of us, all those two words have in common is a rhyme.
I went looking for myself. Got lost. I didn't ask for directions.You know why.

Student's Vegetarian Cookbook, Revised: Quick, Easy, Cheap, and Tasty Vegetarian Recipes

Hamburger America: One Man's Cross-Country Odyssey to Find the Best Burgers in the Nation [DVD]

Big Boys Don't (What?), The Searcher, Ciggy Humor

2011-01-28T16:27:00.000-06:00

It takes a big man to cry. And, an even bigger man to beat him up.
I went looking for myself. Got lost. Couldn't remember where I started.
A kid with a cigarette comes up to me to explain why coffee is bad for my health. I thought it was funny too, but what could I tell the boy?

World Map Maps Poster Print, 36x24

Mine Is, Helpish, Too Good to Be Bad

2011-01-27T08:45:00.000-06:00

Originality is like objectivity... we all pretend, but probably have achieved neither. Except for this post. Objectively speaking, it is completely original.
Good thing the international distress signal is 'mayday' and not "I am out here on my ship 100 miles off shore. The engine is dead, my mates were all eaten by sharks, water is coming in, and a tidal wave is about to hit. And, I have a blister on my left big toe."
If I have too much of a good thing, it becomes a bad thing. That means I didn't have a good thing, and can't have too much of it.

MAYDAY: The Art of Shepard Fairey

Swiss Missed, Sweeten the Cup, Pagely Speaking

2011-01-26T01:30:00.000-06:00

I tried hiding my money in a Swiss bank. Instead, I stuck it in one made in Japan, and lost it.
Bitter people are no fun.
All thick books are made from much thinner pages.

Money Savvy Pig

I'm #1, Just One Thing, Sleep It Off (Don't Call Me in the Morning)

2011-01-25T11:22:00.000-06:00

I won an award: Best Human Ever. I didn't let anyone else vote.
Protest only one thing. I was protesting protesters and peacemakers, but something went awry.
Early to bed, early to rise? Not if I can help it. Early to bed, late to rise, napping throughout the day.

Benjamin Franklin's The Art of Virtue: His Formula for Successful Living

You Sure?, Peekaboo, And the Answer Is...

2011-01-24T09:28:00.000-06:00

What exactly does depend on a red wheelbarrow?
Everyday, peaking
Every moment, peeking.
Life isn't about getting answers.

The Collected Poems of William Carlos Williams, Vol. 1: 1909-1939

Wink (Without Nudging), On Second Thought, Say That Again

2011-01-21T07:52:00.000-06:00

Ever try to wink backwards? It is harder than it looks.
I was wrong once:
I questioned myself.
Never presume, always listen, and then, listen more.

This many things using the word wink? Search Amazon.com for wink

Giving the Finger (Thrice), My Name's Not Earl, Revolutionizing Marie

2011-01-20T12:01:00.000-06:00

Guys named "Three Finger Louie" are not the right choice for a physician.
I am not a red neck. I just washed last week, and saw that, no, absolutely not, my neck is not red.
"Let me eat cake..." - what Marie Antoinette was really thinking.

(Who knows why I chose Queen's song, Killer Queen?)

Queen - Killer Queen

Intoxicate yourself: http://brockeim.com

I Move Me, Happy Check, B/C/D/E Etc.

2011-01-19T09:07:00.000-06:00

I was beside myself... then I moved.
It is a strange thing, seeing unhappy people. Some don't need to be.
Many letters in the English alphabet rhyme with 'B'.

Search Amazon.com for English alphabet

Princely Aging, Folton Lipgers, Limerick About =ity

2011-01-18T12:13:00.000-06:00

I tried to party like it was 1999. But it wasn't.
Folgers and Lipton have more in common than Seals and Croft.
I hosted a party on parity
which boasted claims of clarity.
Nothing was equal I found.
My noble plans were aground,
bemoaning my day into parody.

Thanks to poet Annie Park for helping clean up a bad limerick.

Seals and Croft - Summer Breeze

Why Matters, Song Day, Blackness

2011-01-17T11:19:00.000-06:00

Why did MLK do what MLK did?
Do you know the song I'm singing? Sing along, sing out loud, but man, be sure you sing.
Black is beautiful, but in my cup, I need sugar and cream.

Search Amazon.com for MLK

Duh...?, It's All Good, Horoscopically Speaking

2011-01-14T13:36:00.000-06:00

Does smiling decrease the appearance of intelligence? I smile often.
Do not underestimate the value of a good... (fill in the blank).
There is a good chance something will happen today. Let me know if it doesn't.

I'm not sure, either: Woo Hoo

Artist Carny, Tylenol?, Bottled Pleasure

2011-01-13T09:16:00.000-06:00

Me? Art? More of a carny.
Never a Jackie Gleason.
There is nothing like a morning headache to make the previous morning look great.
Naps should be bottled.

In the Beginning Was the End, Snow Blows, Tea Drinker

2011-01-12T09:42:00.000-06:00

Tried writing a book by starting at the end first. Couldn't think of a sentence which begins with a period.
Spring? I want to see you when I get the mail today. Don't be shy. You can do this. Please?
She said she didn't drink coffee. She didn't. She drank tea.

The End

Throwing Up(stage), Stick It To Me, Kate Middleton Inspired?

2011-01-11T10:15:00.000-06:00

Throw no tomatoes,
but loose change is welcome.
Pen is not mightier than the sword.
Just ask the guy in a duel.
This bit is not 'Kate Middleton inspired.' I too have a reputation to uphold.

Search Amazon.com for Kate Middleton (she's not there, but her stuff is)

Nosing Around, I Don't Know Jack, Kitty's Birthplace

2011-01-10T10:09:00.000-06:00

If I had a closeup of my nostril,
would that be a nose pic?
Clickity clickity clack.
My name was never Jack.
To see more about me,
Click me and see,
To learn all the info you lack.
What if the Cheshire cat was from Winsford?

Search Amazon.com for Cheshire cat

TTTT, Don't Blame Me, Collarama

2011-01-07T06:01:00.000-06:00

Never teeing off, rarely teed off, and occasionally to a tee.
Tea, anyone?
An apple was in my eye...
"Another day, another collar"
-what a dog which models flea protection might say at day's end

Search Amazon.com for dog collar
Wilson Sponge Bob Golf Balls 6 Pack

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog - New Yorker Cartoon

2011-01-06T11:09:00.000-06:00

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog - New Yorker Cartoon

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog - New Yorker Cartoon
The Complete Cartoons of The New Yorker
The New Yorker (1-year auto-renewal)
The New Yorker (1-year auto-renewal)The New Yorker (1-year auto-renewal)

DB Troll, How Is That Again?, Twice Is Nice

2011-01-06T10:04:00.000-06:00

Discussion board trolls are like people, but without their own personality.
The principle principal principally principles in his principality.
Yes, why yes... I will have another.

A Little Giant Book: Tongue Twisters (Little Giant Books)

Don Ho - I'll Remember You

Oom, Faux Faux, Bird Love

2011-01-05T10:17:00.000-06:00

Does everyone go "Oom Pah Pah?" I'm looking around. I'm not seeing it. Maybe the Oompa Loompas, but they aren't talking.
Faux pas? Faux mas too...
Oh, but the kids are even worse. Fe fo faux fum. "
Chickens need to be the hero of the story.

Search Amazon.com for Jack and the Beanstalk

Oliver! Oom Pah Pah

Gorilla to a Fishy Bird, I Didn't Do It, Live Free

2011-01-04T05:46:00.000-06:00

Can I say that today I feel so much less like a gorilla than I ever have? More like a sparrow, but that's another kettle of fish.
No, we all haven't.
Choose. Freedom isn't above passivity, even if it is a legal, free option.

Search Amazon.com for Billy Bass
Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit - Songs From The Motion Picture Soundtrack

Master Edward Lear, Thirds, Titling Nonsense

2011-01-03T07:22:00.000-06:00

First nonsense of 2011 is dedicated to the greatest of all nonsense artists, Edward Lear. This is the first poem from his famed "Book of Nonsense":
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, 'It is just as I feared!
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!
January 3 is like eighth place in the Olympics. It's there, it's a big deal, but no one really ever talks about it the next day.
Titles for poems, I have few,
Rhyming and such that I do.
But to give them a name,
just all the same,
I too often eschew.

Get Book of Nonsense free from Amazon (free download).

Search Amazon.com for Limericks

Horse 1, Horse 2, Horse 3

2010-12-31T15:34:00.000-06:00

If you are a horse, tomorrow's probably your birthday.
If you are reading this, you probably aren't a horse.
Horses cannot hold a coffee mug. No thumbs. They need thumbs.

Western Pleasure Trail Saddle Set

Lousy Limerick, Knitted Numbers, Polite Lies

2010-12-30T14:23:00.000-06:00

I knew an old lady in Venice,
along on her way to do penance.
Seems what she did
with a fella named Sid
had quite little to do with tennis.
A stitch in time? What needs to be done when the numbers fall off a quilted clock.
"Charmed, I'm sure." What if I'm not?

Sid & Nancy

Daily Repeat, Substance, Five Buck Happiness

2010-12-29T10:03:00.000-06:00

Long range forecast: sunrise, sunset, then rinse, wash, repeat.
The absence of a vacuum? Something or other.
Surprise the person behind you at the cafe. Buy their drink. It will cost you less than $5.00 to change their day.

Search Amazon.com MP3 Downloads for Sunrise Sunset

Ahh, Yawn, Yum

2010-12-28T13:32:00.000-06:00

A warm hug.
A long nap.
A plate of cookies.

Search Amazon.com for Snoopy

No Nonense Christmas

2010-12-24T08:45:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas.

In Brockeimia, today (including tomorrow) is not a holiday, but a holy day. Whether Jesus Christ's birthday was actually December 25 or not is of no consequence to me. That He was born, and died, and rose from the dead is everything.

However you see Christmas, I hope it is a happy, joyful day.