February 29, 2008

Dessert, Raisen Bread, Toothpicks

  1. "Dessert: It's what's for dinner." The food for which that's true (and healthy) should win a prize.
  2. Raisen bread is made with wrinkled grapes. Best served toasted with butter.
  3. Toothpicks are not the people who work on dentures. Nor are indentured servants.

February 28, 2008

Norm from Cheers, Protest Poseurs, Funny Days

  1. What if Norm on the television sitcom "Cheers" preferred coffee over beer?
  2. There are lot more important things to worry about than whether you look like a protester or a conservative. If that's your issue, you are neither, and a poseur. Take off your baggies and grunge, or your Polo shirts and khakis, and volunteer to help someone who needs your help, not your protest.
  3. Today is the funniest day of the rest of your life. Laugh it up.

February 27, 2008

Pumpkin Kicking, Star Wishes, Diana Ross

  1. Drop kicking a pumpkin will likely hurt your foot or the pumpkin. Wear proper steel-toed shoes and a smock.
  2. You can still make first star wishes on a cloudy night.
  3. "Ain't no river wide enough... To keep me from getting to you babe," is the famous lyric Diana Ross sang (before her, Marvin Gaye). Now, with the internet, that's not even a question.

February 26, 2008

Trouble, Winter, Common Cold & Death

  1. Trouble is not always your trouble.
  2. Winter always end. Be hopeful in the imminent.
  3. Nothing cures the common cold like death. Be happy you're sick. It could be worse.

February 25, 2008

Superman, Polar Bears, Behind Us

  1. Just like Superman, we can fly. The trouble is, we have no wings, and were not born on Krypton, so, for now, gravity reigns.
  2. What's a cold day to you and I is toasty to a polar bear.
  3. Not everything is behind us.

February 24, 2008

Wise Man's Brain, Logan's Crawl, No Bookshelves

  1. The wisest man is still, at best, only using his brain.
  2. "Trust no one over 3."
    --Rallying cry at Logan's daycare, where he made his famous crawl.
  3. Before books, there were no bookshelves.

February 23, 2008

Hurdy Gurdies, Moon Jumping, Driving Thumbs

  1. Have you ever seen a hurdy gurdy?
  2. Jumping over the moon is harder than it looks.
  3. My thumb can't drive.

February 22, 2008

Unequal Coffee, Sum of All Evils, Kindergarten Lessons

  1. Not all coffee is created equally. Taste test often.
  2. The sum of all evils? Let's see... more than 42?
  3. If everything you ever learned was taught in kindergarten, what does that tell you about you? Time to read a good book.

February 21, 2008

Old Rugged Cross, Meteors, Memories

  1. Jesus Christ was not killed on an old rugged cross. His was brand new, created just for him.
  2. Meteor is not a request from a diner at a restaurant for a meatier pasta dish.
  3. Tomorrow, when thinking of today, you might say, "Remember when..." Make today memorable.

February 20, 2008

Cynicism, Guitars & Sitars, Hawaii

  1. Cynicism is the pride of those who are hopeless. Hope is the result of joy. There are no joyful cynics.
  2. Guitar and sitar, in some parts of the United States, rhyme.
  3. 'Hawaii' is not what kids from Honolulu scream when falling off a surf board. Hang loose, man.

February 19, 2008

Jack Nicholson's Love Life, Weathermen, Tickle Me Elmo

  1. "As Good As It Gets" with Jack Nicholson has Jack's character writing romance without love in real life. Jack's real life, though, has been as romantically successful as Myrna Loy's.
  2. The man caught snoring and bumping his head one morning is not known to meteorologists by name, but his involvement during raining, pouring weather is legendary.
  3. Elmo of "Tickle Me Elmo" and Sesame Street fame is of no relation to Elmer Fudd (of Bugs Bunny fame).

February 18, 2008

Funny Things, Mouth Bored, Death Love

  1. The funniest thing about many funny things is that they're not all that funny.
  2. Is your mouth bored? Insert coffee.
  3. No one loves anyone to death.

February 17, 2008

Mosquitos, NewsWeek, Bertrand Russell

  1. There is a culture that thinks mosquitos are acceptible, so I have heard from a man drunk on yesterday's whiskey.
  2. What if the magazine NewsWeek called itself NewsMonth? Sounds awkward, doesn't it?
  3. There is no word yet on what Bertrand Russell thinks of Hell, but it is reasonable to assume he doesn't believe he's there. He might think he is at a philosopher's convention.

February 16, 2008

Hollow Ships, Weekend Work, Tapioca Pudding Trading

  1. Hollow ships will not sink so long as they remain hollow. The same cannot be said about people.
  2. I think it strange that we who get tired rarely rest on weekends, while God, who never tires, took a day off.
  3. Never be fooled by someone offering tapioca pudding for gold doubloons. If they throw in some chocolate chip cookies, though, the temptation is understood, but still, you should refuse.

February 15, 2008

Politics, Periods, Casablanca

  1. Politics is not the religion of today, and is as meaningless as ever. Find meaning.
  2. There's an old story that begins with the word "the.' It ends with a period. What happens in between is anyone's guess.
  3. Casablanca is not the only city in Morocco.

February 14, 2008

Night of the 22nd, Old Martyrs, Legless Frogs

  1. No one knows what happened on the night of the 22nd.
  2. Find me an old martyr.
  3. One day, all legless frogs will revolt. You'll be sorry.

February 13, 2008

Book Lover Mugs: Books are a friend which never imposes, but is always with you only slightly less intimately than God.

Books are a friend which never imposes, but is always with you only slightly less intimately than God. ~Brockeim.

Tipoe/s haPin mug (get it? Typos happen.)

Buy a mug today, and be drinking from it next week.

make custom gifts at Zazzle

Romance, Overused Metaphors, Dark

  1. Romance is not romance if Valentine's Day is the only day this art of love is practiced.
  2. Wake up is an overused metaphor, so, wake up, and use original ones.
  3. God did not say, "Let there be dark."

February 12, 2008

Cornish Hen, Awesome, Unread Books

  1. Cornish hen is different than corned beef.
  2. Awesome used to mean "filled with awe." Now it means, "My vocabulary is limited."
  3. Books, when read by people who can read, get read. Obvious? Of course, but on the shelves of readers world wide is the best selling, least read book (can you name it?)

February 11, 2008

Skinning a Cat, Luthiers, Flu Bug

  1. When discovering all those ways to skin a cat, should researchers shave off the fur first?
  2. Lex Luthor, famed arch enemy of Superman, and Martin Luther, famed arch enemy of Satan, are not known because of making or repairing stringed instruments.
  3. I was sick, until my flu flew up the flue. Who knew?

February 10, 2008

Soapy Water, Andy Griffith, Solanum Tuberosum

  1. Soapy water is water with soap in it. Do not drink it. It tastes like soap, not water.
  2. Everything does not taste better when it sits on a Ritz. Andy Griffith might think so, but what does he know? I can think of lots of things I would never put on a cracker. Take pianos, for example. Ever eat one of those with a cracker?
  3. Solanum tuberosum roots are totally tubular. Or is that tuberler?

February 09, 2008

King Edward VIII, Phonetics, Fab Four

  1. King Edward VIII married divorcee Mrs. Wallis Simpson, not Marge Simpson. She wasn't alive yet.
  2. Phonetics is not a city in Arizona.
  3. The Fab Four, as they were known, did not have PhDs in math or entomology.

February 08, 2008

Jimmy Buffett, Hunks, Tasty People

  1. There were no cheeseburgers in paradise. Jimmy Buffett made that up. While Heaven may have these delicious burgers, Adam and Eve are not recorded as having one.
  2. Hunks never hunker down, but fight the good fight.
  3. Beautiful people looking just as tasty to tigers as ugly ones.

February 07, 2008

Sleeping Through, Coffee Sleeves, Passivity

  1. When we sleep, everything immediately becomes 'yesterday'. Enjoy today while you can.
  2. I have, in my desk, a dozen coffee cup heat sleeves, soon to be returned to my favorite coffeeshop to be recycled. You can do this too.
  3. The most passive person is the one moving in no direction. He is followed by the person with direction, but is not moving. One pretends, the other denies.

February 06, 2008

Sleet, Migration, Al Gore's Missed Prayer

  1. Sleet, freezing rain... do you really know the difference? Do you ever say, "Whew, I'm glad it isn't sleet. It is so much that it is freezing rain"?
  2. Migration? Does anyone own grations? "Talking about my-g-rations." Hmm... I can see why the British rock group, the Who, left that one alone.
  3. The childhoood prayer, "Rain, rain, go away, come again another day," has led to a backlog in precipitation. It explains so much, doesn't it? Al Gore missed this inconvenient truth.

February 05, 2008

Spreadsheets. Vesting, Cubicles

  1. Spreadsheets is not a suggested way of making a bed.
  2. Wearing a vest will not protect your legs, even if it is bullet-proof.
  3. Cubicles aren't frozen, even if their occupants are. They are not called occupanticles, are they?

February 04, 2008

New York Giants, Make (Their) Day, Lemons

  1. Unless you are very rich, 'your' team did not win the Super Bowl. New England Patriots? New York Giants? If you are very rich, and reading this blog, thank you. Buy something, and help me buy a football team.
  2. Today is Monday, and somewhere you can help someone's day.
  3. Lemons, when they aren't cars, can be pretty funny.

February 03, 2008

Black Power, Symbols, Ground Hog Day Gifts

  1. Coffee is the original black power.
  2. Symbol and simple. If one is done well, it is synonymous with the other.
  3. No one returns Ground Hog Day gifts on February 3. They wait at least a week, major retailers are noting.

February 02, 2008

Akuna Gelato, Books, Runaways

  1. Akuna gelato is not an iced dessert made by Disney. That is too goofy.
  2. So many books, so little coffee…
  3. There are two kinds of runaways. Those running to, and those running from. We're all one or the other.

February 01, 2008

Harry Truman, Snowy Days, Ground Hog Eve

  1. Harry Truman's name is a pun. I can only imagine what Jay Leno and David Letterman would do with it. No doubts what Conan O'Brian would do.
  2. Snowy days are not the same as a snowy daze. One involves a day off of school, and the other involves a day off of the planet.
  3. No one celebrates Ground Hog Eve anymore. It is tragic we have forgotten our values.