August 31, 2008

Chocolate Duty, Lonely Neighbors, Complaining

  1. Chocolate, unlike fine wine, gets funky with age. Eat up, save the world from suffering through funky chocolate. It is your duty.
  2. Your neighbor is lonely. Invite him over for coffee.
  3. It is easier to complain about the guy in charge than it is to find a better placement.

August 30, 2008

Cloud Sale, Breathing, Wash/Rinse/Repeat

  1. On sale today are clouds. In fact, you can have all you can carry.
  2. Breathe in, and achieve world peace. Breathe out, and tell the world.
  3. People will wash. People will rinse. Now, if only people would repeat as necessary, we would have a cleaner world.

August 29, 2008

Salt of the Earth, Bumper Stickers, Negotiating With God

  1. Eating too much salt is common. Being the salt of the earth is far less common. Hence, our arteries are clogged, and our hearts are of little use.
  2. Bumper stickers are tools for those who think you won't listen otherwise.
  3. Try negotiating with God sometime. Any guess who will get his way?

August 28, 2008

Mountains, Children, Herpes Zoster

  1. Mountains are so delicate, the slightest breath, if repeated often enough, will take it down.
  2. If all the children held hands at once, many would be underwater.
  3. Pringles, as in the processed potato chips, rhymes with shingles, which is a virus also called herpes zoster, and no one wants that.

August 27, 2008

Blues, Air Conditioning, Great American Fat Out

  1. Blues music gets its name from the feeling requiring certain music. Rock and roll is the feeling listeners get from playing the music. Country is all about the location where it is produced. But what about all that jazz?
  2. Air conditioning? Does the oxygen have to run laps to get into shape?
  3. What if the USA all decided to skip fast food for one day? The Great American Fat Out?

August 26, 2008

Timeless, Running Naked, Drinking Cats

  1. 12:48 pm is before 3:12 pm. Always has been. Always will be.
  2. Buffering is not the act of dashing in the buff.
  3. Lions, Tigers and Bears is not the name of an alcoholic beverage produced by brewing and the fermentation of starches derived from cereals that also includes two large cats. Cats do not ferment well. Oh my.

August 25, 2008

Second-hand Smiles, Grass, Smells

  1. Nothing wears better than a second-hand smile.
  2. Grass grows greenest when the light is filtered to screen out other colors.
  3. The best smells are unnoticed, but known.

August 24, 2008

Shootin', Humanity, Freedom

  1. You can shoot 'em up. You can shoot 'em down. But you shouldn't shoot 'em when they're down and out.
  2. Look around. If you only see an office, a desk, and a computer, get up and talk to a human in person.
  3. Freedom is often dated, rarely married. Until the person you believe is the most foolish is allowed to believe as he likes, you are trying to keep him a slave.

August 23, 2008

Lemons, Jingle Bells, Alaska Residents

  1. If life gives you lemons, trade it for coffee. See if they'll throw in sugar and cream.
  2. Jingle bells is either a silly song, or a sound that clangs in mourning.
  3. No one living in Alaska today was born in the 1700s.

August 22, 2008

Mississippi, Spaghetti, Coffee

  1. Mississippi has lots of letters in its name, and lots of obese people living there.
  2. Spaghetti is nutritional string. Even better when slathered with nutritional paste.
  3. When all else fails, try coffee.

August 21, 2008

Stars That Lie, Cowboys, Vegetarians

  1. "Twinkle, twinkle little star," is misleading. Stars are never little, and do not twinkle.
  2. Cowboys also herd sheep, but who wants to be called a "sheepboy"?
  3. Early humans were not vegetarians. Early lions were not either.