September 30, 2008

Random Life, Bloodshot Eyes, Laughter

  1. Is everything really random? Just because we don't know doesn't mean there isn't.
  2. Painting the town red may result in the town remaining gray, but your eyes bloodshot red.
  3. What makes you turn your head? Bakery smells? A hot guy/girl? Coffee smells? The sound of people laughing?

September 29, 2008

10 Little Indians, Dinner Plates, Coffee

  1. Ten little Indians? How do we know there were not 11? Or that they weren't huge?
  2. Have you ever contemplated a dinner plate?
  3. Coffee connects all kinds of contexts. Very universal, even if you personally hated the stuff.

September 28, 2008

Chuck the Wood Tosser, Bread, Smiles

  1. Guys named Chuck hear a lot about small animals' ability to toss wood.
  2. Bread defines so many good memories, even though many never make bread themselves anymore (those that do often just use a bread machine).
  3. A smile changes everything about everything. Everything.

September 27, 2008

Friday, Foreign Languages, Weekends

  1. The difficulty found on Mondays is sometimes a result of things ignored on Friday.
  2. All language are foreign languages, unless you knew the language while yet unborn.
  3. Originally, weekends had only one day.

September 26, 2008

Giggling Geese, Happy Jeans, How Similar Are Different People

  1. What if a gathering of geese is silly, with eye issues? A gaggle giggling in goggles.
  2. Not all blue jeans are blue. Some are quite happy.
  3. The correlation is direct: the more they dress to be different, the less they likely are.

September 25, 2008

Game Called, Opinions, Living on the Edge

  1. Calling a game could be ending it early, confidently claiming where the ball will be hit, or doing play-by-play.
  2. Wouldn't be great if everyone with an opinion had their own opinion?
  3. Does anyone know where the edge of the world can be found? I was told I am living on the edge, but I don't know my address.

September 24, 2008

Heels, Love, Books

  1. Heels: worn by good women, done by good dogs. Never confuse the two.
  2. Love is just another way of saying, "You matter more."
  3. Fewer books are read in coffeeshops than you might think.

September 23, 2008

Crying Water, Tense Numbers, Live Forever

  1. If water cries, how would you know?
  2. Tension, elevension, twelvesion.
  3. Life's too short not to live forever.

September 22, 2008

Happy Autumn, Sugar is a Food Group, Bored with Irony

  1. Happy fall. Happy autumn. May it be as warm as it is it here.
  2. Sugar is made from plants. Eat your veggies.
  3. Ironing boards, not bored with irony.

September 21, 2008

Mitochondria, Demonizing, Coffee Beauty

  1. Do cell phones have mitochondria?
  2. Choosing sides should include the middle side. Never demonize your opponent, unless your opponent really is a demon. Then, that's OK.
  3. Coffee is beautiful. Drink up.

September 20, 2008

Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookies, Stupid Extractions, Present Time Loss

  1. Mocha with mint are like liquid Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookies.
  2. If our wisdom teeth are decayed, do we get stupid?
  3. There's no time like the present. Oh, rats. It's gone.

September 19, 2008

Danny Davito the Chimpanzee, Burping Before the Queen, Orange Juice and Tennis Instructors

  1. Chimpanzees are short. Danny Davito is short. Danny Davito is not a chimpanzee. Chimps are more more agile.
  2. Burping is funny, especially when belched by an Englishman at a garden party held by the Royal Family while drinking tea.
  3. Do tennis instructors ever drink orange juice at practice?

September 18, 2008

Giraffes Kissing, Pilgrim Food, First Effect

  1. Giraffes are never caught necking in a Chevy.
  2. What did Pilgrims eat for breakfast?
  3. If we believe in cause and effect, what caused the first effect?

September 17, 2008

Scientific Faith, Cicadas Singing the Blues, Good Morning Coffee

  1. If faith is belief in things not seen, not understood, most scientists are loaded with faith but are unwilling to admit it. Faith in God, or faith in science, pretending we have it when we don't, or do not have it when we do, is a lie.
  2. Cicadas do not sing the blues.
  3. Coffee begins most good mornings.

September 16, 2008

Chicken, Benji the Dog, Lying

  1. Chicken tastes like chicken.
  2. Benji, the dog, could not fly under his own power.
  3. Many of us prefer youth over experience, but lie about it.

September 15, 2008

End of Summer, Beginning of America, Stereo Monotone

  1. Summer may be ending, but cold hearts can still warm.
  2. Columbus Day is less than a month away. Have you set up the Columbus Tree, and told your children about the old sailor who brought disease to America? Not a worry. Be confident this blissful news will be brought by your TV.
  3. If both ears hear the same sound, is it stereo? What if each ear hears a different sound?

September 14, 2008

Tuna Fish Fighting, How to Register to Vote, Confucious

  1. Between tuna fish sandwiches and cherry cola, there is little agreement. Throw in salsa, and there's bound to be a fight.
  2. Are you registered to vote? Even Brockeim votes.
  3. He who drinks no water quenches no thirst (why Confucious never became a copywriter at an ad agency).

September 13, 2008

Pretense, Saturdays, Christmas Caroles

  1. Walls are the way we pretend we're alone.
  2. Saturdays are not days off for ministers, mailmen or physicians. At least, not good ones.
  3. Originally, all Christmas caroles were about God, back when it was a religious holiday.

September 12, 2008

Hot Water Politically, Ben Franklin, Eternity

  1. Hot water is bad if you are a politician or a visitor to a cannibal's island. In the process of making coffee, it is not only good, but necessary.
  2. Ben Frankin said a good many things before he died. So did his third cousin, but no one talks about him.
  3. The best thing about eternity is tomorrow.

September 11, 2008

Honor the Dead, Dishonor the Murderers, Tolerate the Hated

  1. Remember the men who died, and honor the men still living.
  2. There is nothing honorable about the men who killed in the name of Islam.
  3. Tolerance means the person with whom you most disagree with you still love. It never means agreeing.

September 10, 2008

Peace and Death, Eyeplastics and Botox, Fat Man's Dance

  1. Almost nothing lasts forever. Make peace with that which does.
  2. What if eyeglasses are made from plastic? Eyeplastics sounds like something Botox does.
  3. "Roll out the Barrel" is a song, not a fat man's coming out party.

September 09, 2008

Voyeurs, Michael Phelps, State of Sun

  1. The difference between a voyeur and a people watcher is location and clothing.
  2. Michael Phelps did not write "Invictus." That was William Ernest Henley, a man no longer captain of his soul. That ship has sailed.
  3. Given the state of the sun, tomorrow is bound to be a new day.

September 08, 2008

Earth in Hiding, Pouring Coffee, Fancy Umbrella Problems

  1. Are clouds hiding the Earth from the Sun, or the Sun from the Earth?
  2. Say what you will about coffee, just pour me another cup.
  3. Rain is the kind of thing that will fall, no matter how fancy your umbrella is.

September 03, 2008

Banana Eaters, Owning the Dead, Piano-like Guitars

  1. What do we really know about anyone? Especially people who eat bananas?
  2. In 200 years, all of your stuff will be used up by someone else.
  3. Guitars are like sideways pianos without keys, few strings, and no place to sit.

September 02, 2008

Toast, Baseball Diamonds, Genuinely Something

  1. Toasting bread is managed burning.
  2. Baseball diamonds are made from refined sand, not compressed coal.
  3. 'Genuine' qualfies a word that is, in fact, genuinely something, but something else.

September 01, 2008

Death, Joan Collins, Perry Mason

  1. The tension between living and dying is minimal. It is the prospect of one or the other that makes us tense. O death, where is your sting?
  2. Joan Crawford is not related to Joan Collins.
  3. Perry Mason was not a bricklayer, nor famous for fencing.