February 27, 2009

Love, Space Between Rain, Control-Z

  1. Everyone is looking to love, or to be loved. Never pretend otherwise. It is a good thing.
  2. Rain is always falling. Sometimes, we are farther between drops than usual.
  3. Control-Z solves many of life's problems. Control-ALT-Delete covers many others. When it won't do, try, "I'm sorry."

February 18, 2009

Relax (Don't Do It), Exist-endlism, Pessimists

  1. Pressing on today's agenda is relaxation. Be sure to nick it off your list.
  2. One thing can be said about any existing thing... one day thing won't exist. It is OK to let go of it.
  3. Pessimism is never an attribute of happy people.

February 17, 2009

Short Words, Flowers Apathy, Better than Coffee

  1. Every word has at least one letter.
  2. Flowers do not care if your name is Buffy or Mick.
  3. The next best thing to today's cup of coffee is... tomorrow's cup of coffee.

February 16, 2009

Consonantal Sift, Mooning Moons, Help

  1. Imagine a world without vowels. Not pretty, is it? Consonants? No big deal, but vowels? Gotta have 'em.
  2. Can we moon the moon? What about followers of the so-called Reverend Moon? Moonies mooning the moon?
  3. A lot of people are waiting for help, rather than being the help. What are you waiting for?

February 13, 2009

Verbing, Taking It to the Limit, Dwell Swell

  1. Everything can be a verb.
  2. Take it to the limit... one more time? What if you never have even approached the limit?
  3. Why dwell? It's hell to dwell. Avoid the swell.

February 12, 2009

Nonsense... rhymes?, Volcanic Nicety, Curing Colds With Coffee

  1. What rhymes with nonsense?
  2. Why do the places with nice weather have volcanoes?
  3. Coffee can cure the common cold, or, at least, make it warmer.

February 11, 2009

Resolutely Speaking, Constitutional Happiness, Fun Sun

  1. It is February. What's your excuse? Be resolute.
  2. Nowhere does the Constitution say you can't be happy. In fact, it encourages it. Be happy. Pursue this. It is your right.
  3. Sun is fun.

February 10, 2009

Freedom Show Throwing, White House Keyboards

  1. Freedom's just another name for something else to throw...
    -Janis Joplin, had she been Iraqi
  2. There should be extra Bs on every keyboard, in case typing my praises wears the first one out.
  3. Hazelnut. Now there's a word story.

February 09, 2009

April Celebrations, Ice Cream, Funny Funny

  1. How will you celebrate April?
  2. The difference between snow and ice cream is flavor (and milk, and the cooling process, and the season in which it is preferred, and...)
  3. A lot of what we laugh at isn't funny. Ha... ha... yeah, right.

February 06, 2009

Relative Friday, Atheists and Christmas, Lemonade D├ętente

  1. If time is relative, it might not be Friday.
  2. Do atheists work on Christmas?
  3. Lemonade can cure many of life's problems. Try it... invite a friend over, pour some lemonade, and see if a few problems aren't solved in a few hours.

February 05, 2009

Pretending Faith, Harry's Fault, Stinky Rooms

  1. If faith is belief in things not seen, why do we spend so much time putting 'faith' in things we can see? Isn't that pretending?
  2. Some guy named Harry is the cause behind all natural disasters. Or was it his brother Larry?
  3. He who complains and sits is like a guy who thinks the air stinks but leaves the window closed.

February 04, 2009

Pretzels, Nantucket Naughties, Socks in It

  1. Pretzels: proof that just because something is twisted doesn't mean it can't be made better with a little salt.
  2. There was no man from Nantucket. The man was a woman. And another thing... no bucket. Actually the whole thing it was based on was in Iowa, she was a milkmaid, and it was all just a story about her husband, Roy, who farmed corn and soy near Des Moines. That's all. It tells better the other way.
  3. Thankfully, the phrase is, "Put a sock in it." Too many other less attractive options.

February 03, 2009

Proud American, Quip Quip, Fat Alice

  1. Always proud to be an American here. Always. Agree with some things. Disagree with many others. But always a little teary-eyed when I see fireworks on the Fourth of July. Freedom. Had it then, have it now. Proud American.
  2. Quip while you're ahead.
  3. You used to get anything you wanted at Alice's Restaurant... til the FDA shut 'em down. Too much fatty food.

February 02, 2009

Fonzi Schemes, Jingle Bell Naughtiness, Literacy

  1. Watch out for Fonzi schemes. Ralph Malph is running a numbers game with Potsi, telling people they'll double their money if they invest in Al's Diner. Ayyyyeee...
  2. Jingle bells. Sounds naughty, doesn't it?
  3. Literacy. Use it.