May 29, 2009

Isaac Newton's Sour Stomach, I Know an Old Lady, Troubling Greatness

  1. What goes down must come up... Isaac Newton, after a triple burrito-as-big-as-his-head binge.
  2. The mystery involving fly swallowing among the elderly has yet to be cracked.
  3. Some of life's greatest troubles are that we let them trouble us.

May 28, 2009

International Baker's Union, Middle East Welcome Wagon and Tourism Bureau, Friendly Cats

  1. "Let them eat cake," was not a battle cry of the International Baker's Union.
  2. Osama bin Laden is not the director of the Middle East Welcome Wagon and Tourism Bureau (MEWWTB).
  3. The season of spring is like a friendly cat.

May 27, 2009

Boxers or Briefs, The Plodding Pâtissier, Necronymically Speaking

  1. Briefs... the other boxer rebellion.
  2. There's Charlie Trotter, the Galloping Gourmet, but what about the plodding pâtissier?
  3. Brockeim is not an necronym. Maybe someday. Not yet.

May 26, 2009

No Account, Truncating, Singing from the Heart

  1. Just because I haven't opened an account doesn't mean I'm a no account.
  2. Never truncated,
    always whole.
  3. "I left my heart in San Francisco"
    -words Dr. Barney Clark was glad his doctor, Robert Jarvik, never sang
I Left My Heart In San Francisco (Album Version)

Tony Bennett - All-Time Greatest Hits

May 25, 2009

Paperclipping, Spock While Drunk, Pleasuring

  1. Paperclips are handy. And that's not just me talking. Ask around.
  2. Long liver and prospect...
    --Why Spock should never drink Everclear.
  3. I'm twice the pleasure, half the trouble.
To the men and women fighting for us: I salute you with thanks. Keep the enemy at bay.

May 22, 2009

Contrarian, Rain Dichotomy, Baseball

  1. Never to the contrary,
    always in sync
    and occasionally... right.
  2. Rain, if it falls hard enough, can knock you down. If it falls even harder, it can lift you back up again.
  3. Will baseball become part of our past, instead of our national pastime?

May 21, 2009

Sordid Nature, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Magnum Opus

  1. Sorted, not mixed, not sordid, not nixed.
  2. So much good can be said about Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
  3. I am my own magnum opus, but I am not God. His magnum opus is that He needs no magnum opus to be.

May 20, 2009

Needy World, Blue Films, Breakfast of Champions

  1. What the world needs now...
    is more Brockeim.
    -get the song you are thinking of: What The World Needs Now Is Love (2002 Digital Remaster)
  2. Go Blue! is not a suggestion for which sort of movie that should be seen. Unless, of course, it is a highlight film for University Michigan's football team.
  3. Coffee. It's what's for breakfast.

Classic Masters by Jackie Deshannon

May 19, 2009

Middle-Wing Extremist, Pulling Out, Reader Quiz

  1. No one is more middler,
    than the center of my center,
    the fairest of the middlin'.
  2. Resend. Rescind. Sound the same. Not the same. Feeling smarter now?
  3. To all self-proclaimed readers: name five poets active before 1800.

May 18, 2009

Frank Sinatra, Spontaneous Combustion, Fresno Love

  1. The best is yet to come... something both theologians and Frank Sinatra would agree on. Now, Frank knows if he was right.
  2. I often have half a mind to do something spontaneous. Then, my better half suggests otherwise.
  3. Does anyone ever sing songs praising Fresno, California? LA, San Francisco, and even San Jose got a song. Why not Fresno? Or Sacramento?

May 15, 2009

Lampshade Action, Astronauts in Bikinis, Unhappy Violins

  1. What else can a lampshade do?
  2. The moon has sunny days. Still, an astronaut should remain fully clothed. Not yet bikini weather up there.
  3. "Is that a violin in that violin case, or are you just unhappy to see me?"
    -something overheard in a mob restaurant

May 14, 2009

Hip Turnips, Lying Hobby, Lazy Hope

  1. Chillin' does not rhyme with turnip. Never will. That's OK.
  2. Pretending objectivity is a hobby of some, and a lie to all.
  3. Do lazy people hope? I hope so.

May 13, 2009

Barack Obama, Mid-afterlife Crisis, Skinny Cows

  1. Barack Obama is not often called 'resident of the United States.' His actual title begins with p upfront.
  2. PamTee (fellow reviewer) said, "In the afterlife, the last will be first, and the first last."
    Lucky me. In this current life, I'm last and first. One-stop shopping... The trouble is, this just lands me in the middle of it all.
  3. Thinning out the herd isn't about cattle running laps.

May 12, 2009

Broadcomming, Pasturize, Orificially Speaking

  1. Broadcom sounds like Brockeim, but isn't.
  2. To pasturize... taking cows from the barn to the field.
  3. Orifice... despite sounding like 'office' and the need to sometimes do some paperwork while there, it is not the same thing.

May 11, 2009

Stuck on Myself, Cloudy Musical Souls, Illiterate Mindreaders

  1. Too often, we are stuck on how someone said something than what they said. Truth is missed easily through arrogance or sensitivity.
  2. Listening to old music alone in an empty office can cloud the soul.
  3. Just because I can't read your mind doesn't make me illiterate.

May 08, 2009

To Be 18, AFL-CIO, Satisfaction (Did You Get Some?)

  1. 18... a complicated number.
  2. Did Texas try to leave the Union? Yes. Texas was pro-management. Something to do with the AFL-CIO. Or was it Houston?
  3. After enjoying a satisfactory lunch at a fine restaurant, there is a response... This alone is reason enough for coffee. Any reason will do.

May 07, 2009

Ban Roll-on, Timelessness, Shake What You've Got

  1. Ban Roll-on: Keep the stink?
  2. I am before my time. The trouble is I am still late.
  3. "Shake Before Using" -Message not found on the label of a water bottle.

May 06, 2009

Poopy, Union Labeling, Bells (Bells, Bells)

  1. Poopies: Home to free good...
    -why it is important to avoid drinking before making the sign advertising your dog's litter
  2. Union is not pronounced like onion. No, I don't know why not.
  3. What note are those bells in my head playing?

May 05, 2009

Middle-wing Extremism, Fatalistic Cubs Fans, Cell Walls

  1. My politics? I'm a middle-wing extremist. I'm smack in the center of truth.
  2. "I don't care if I never get back..." (to the World Series)
    -Lyrics Chicago Cubs fans sing when no one is around.
  3. Cell wall... issues a phone Luddite contends with.

May 04, 2009

Icky vs Gross, Mothball Masculinity, May Day

  1. Which is worse? Things which are icky, or things which are gross?
  2. Mothballs. I've seen 'em, and no, I don't think so.
  3. If you are all about May Day, sorry, you are late. Try again in 362 days.

May 01, 2009

Bugs Windblocker, Tocking the Sun, Ginsu Words

  1. If enough bugs hit my windshield that I can no longer see out, is it still a windshield? Or, are the bugs shielding the wind?
  2. The sun never went tick-tock, yet time still rolled on.
  3. I tried to mince words, but all I managed was a comma splice.
Ginsu Knives, Just for Nonsense Readers