November 30, 2009

Tasting Monday, Christmas Lament, Chicken Writers

  1. Monday is delicious. Taste it.
  2. Rather than lamenting about Christmas commercialism, try quietly living generously by giving your gift budget to a homeless shelter.
  3. "Pullets her," has nothing to do with award-winning journalism covering chicken farming.

November 27, 2009

Day After, Grouse Watching, Leftovers: Thanksgiving

  1. The day after a holiday is the beginning of forgetting what we celebrate. Be thankful always.
  2. "Look at the grouse. Look at the grouse," was how the Three Stooges' Curly would point out the people who refused to realize how good they had it. Be thankful, not a grouse.
  3. Leftovers are great memories worth tasting twice.

November 20, 2009

Nursery Rhyme Truth #17 (Hair Tales), Raisin Bread, The Book of Lamentations

  1. Nursery Rhyme Truth #17: Hair is good. Just ask Rapunzel. Or Samson.
  2. Raisin bread... so much happiness can be found in four toasted slices with a smudge of butter.
  3. Too much lamenting, not enough living I say. Live freely.

November 19, 2009

Coffee Mug About Coffee and Books and Food (All at Once)

Books are good food.
Wash them down with coffee.
Buy now

...just an ad to entice you to buy a mug so I can afford coffee...
Great Christmas gift for that coffee bookworm sort at work

Nursery Rhyme Truth #16 (Candy Killer), Delirium Hobbiests, PBJ Authority

  1. Nursery Rhyme Truth #16: Too much candy can kill you. Just ask Hansel and Gretal, or diabetic person's widow.
  2. Delirium is overrated as a hobby.
  3. What do you think makes up the perfect PBJ?

November 18, 2009

Nursery Rhyme Truth #15 (Hottie with Midgits), Politically Crass, Tasty

  1. Nursery Rhyme Truth #15: Beautiful young woman spends her days with seven very short, old, single and peculiar men. What do you think? Eunuchs, self-inflicted?
  2. Why is anyone ever surprised when a politician acts like a politician?
  3. Strange how it is that sometimes things which do not taste good are delicious.

November 17, 2009

Nursery Rhyme Truth #14 (Benedict Arnold), Lucy's Irresponsibility, God's Gift

  1. Nursery Rhyme Truth #14: There's no proof Benedict Arnold made Humpty Dumpty the first Eggs Benedict. But... there's no proof he didn't.
  2. Say what you will, but Lucy was irresponsible when she brought those famous diamonds to the sky.
  3. The first cup of coffee before sunrise is no more spiritual than the last cup after sunset, but I am blessed to have it. Thank God for coffee.

November 16, 2009

Nursery Rhyme Truth #13 (Sierra Club), Extra Credit, Kissing Espressos

  1. Nursery Rhyme Truth #12: The woodsman was not part of the Sierra Club.
  2. Consider everything extra credit.
  3. The unexpected espresso is like a stolen kiss from a beautiful woman...

November 13, 2009

Nursery Rhyme Truth #12 (Blue Chips), Jokers and Thieves, Time Killin' Time

  1. Nursery rhyme truth #12: Watch out where Paul Bunyan's ox invests. Word on the street is he is into blue chips. Which reminds me, watch where you step when he's around.
  2. Why were the joker and the thief along the watch tower in the first place?
  3. Need to kill some time? Try a few rounds of "Around the Mulberry Bush."

November 12, 2009

Nursery Rhyme Truth #11 (Bailout for the Elderly), Where Childhood's Sidewalk Ends, Borrowing Necessarily

  1. Nursery rhyme truth #11: Where's the real estate bailout for the little old lady who lived in a shoe?
  2. When does childhood end?
  3. I contend people should borrow more stuff. Be more dependent.

November 11, 2009

Nursery Rhyme Truth #10 (Pie Hole Strategy), Chaotic Order, Chewed Gum

  1. Nursery rhyme truth #10: There are easier ways to eat pie besides using one's thumb, but no more satisfying.
  2. One person's disorder is another person's chaos.
  3. Just because it is gum doesn't mean it should be chewed.

November 10, 2009

Nursery Rhyme Truth #9 (Ribbing at Home), Order in the Math, Beauty

  1. Nursery rhyme truth 9: Architecture matters. Ask the two plates of pork ribs at the wolf's house.
  2. #7 and #8... who made the rule that they must come in that order? (a typo caused my earlier error, for those following such things)
  3. More is beautiful than we acknowledge.

November 09, 2009

Nursery Rhyme Truth #8 (Background Checks), Foolishly Objective, Lazy Bellowing

  1. Nursery rhyme truth 8: Little is known about the woodsman. Someone should look into his background.
  2. We have faith in things we speculate and theorize, and call those who speculate and theorize about other things fools, pretending objectivity.
  3. Roses are yellow,
    so are daisies,
    I thought I'd bellow,
    feeling quite lazy.

November 06, 2009

Nurset Rhyme Truth #7 (Sordid Red), John's Cake, Indulging Friends

  1. Nursery rhyme truth 7: Little Red Riding has a sordid past, and her history carrying cookies is dubious, at best. Let's just say she's not so little anymore and we are out of cookies.
  2. Johnny cakes? Is this some red light district euphemism?
  3. Dessert with the right person may be simple, yet an indulgence. Indulge often.

November 05, 2009

Coffee Mug About Coffee and Books and Food (All at Once)

Books are good food.
Wash them down with coffee.
Buy now

...just an ad to entice you to buy a mug so I can afford coffee...
Great Christmas gift for that coffee bookworm sort at work

Nursery Rhyme Truth #6 (Woody), Breathing Dentists, Rhyming Garbage

  1. Nursery rhyme truth 6: When entering a woody area, if the trees start talking, be afraid. It will probably be a bad day.
  2. One of four dentists breath while doing a tooth extraction... just as do the other three of four. The same cannot necessarily be said of the patient.
  3. Not everything that rhymes is poem.

November 04, 2009

Nursery Rhyme Truth #5 (Glossolalia), Ughing, Voting into Freedom

  1. Nursery rhyme truth 5: Fee fi fo fum is not 'speaking in tongues'. Glossolalia? More like giant la la la.
  2. Though' ends in 'ugh', which is sometimes apropos.
  3. Voting is just the start of freedom.

November 03, 2009

Nursery Rhyme Truth #4 (Wolfy), Tuesday's Blues, 2-6ing the List

  1. Nursery rhyme truth 4: A wolf is never the good guy.
  2. Tuesday never gets the credit it deserves.
  3. Seeing The Bucket List is not on my bucket list.

November 02, 2009

Nursery Rhyme Truth #3 (Mirrors), Facts and Truths, Walling Ceilings

  1. Nursery rhyme truth 3: Mirrors which talk should not be trusted.
  2. What counts as fact is one thing, but what counts as truth is another. One is negotiable.
  3. Who is more important? The guy who invented walls, or the guy who invented ceilings?