April 30, 2010

Oevre and Out, Arizona Boycotts, Brilliance Daily

  1. I'm a writer walking on eggshells. I like mine oeuvre easy.
  2. I was going to boycott Arizona but then I realized I didn't usually buy any Arizona. Besides, my own state sold out long ago.
  3. Everything I do is clever. What's your shtick?

April 29, 2010

Broke But Wordy, Where Did I Go?, Chiggers from Hell

    Chigg-Away Chigger Repellent
  1. Show me a writer who is not also a businessman, and I will show you a starving artist. 
  2. I was lost right in front of myself.
  3. No matter what PR you read to the contrary, no one likes chiggers. There is, in fact, an entire delegation dedication entirely to their life's work toward preaching the bad news of chiggers. 
Chigg-Away Chigger Repellent 

April 28, 2010

Knowing the Unknown Known, Ferrous Boola Boola, If You're Going to San Fran...

    Ken-Tool 34645 Mount/Demount Tire Iron
  1. Of all the things I'm known for, being known for something isn't one of them.
  2. I never had a tire iron I didn't like.
  3. I've never been to Sausalito.
Ken-Tool 34645 Mount/Demount Tire Iron

Kim Novak sings, dances to "Boola Boola"with Jack Lemon

April 27, 2010

Throw The Bum Out, Language Porn, Zombie Fun

  1. No one does as good of a job managing the country as whichever party is not in office.
  2. Language is bliss.Use words well.
  3. Ironic? What's not ironic about a guy at a zombie movie going catatonic? I'd like to see that. 

    April 26, 2010

    Truth, Silent Sirens, Me (All About Me, or Someone)

      Siren
    1. They said, "You can't handle the truth." That might be true, but a lie is still a lie.
    2. You can't be a siren if no one is listening.
    3. I gotta be me. It's true. Tried for years to be that other guy. What was his name again? 
    Siren  (movie)

    I've Gotta Be Me (LP Version) (Sammy David Jr.)

    April 21, 2010

    Not Funny, Bitchfest Futility, Counting on Landing

      It's ONLY Rocket Science: An Introduction in Plain English (Astronomers' Universe)
    1. The trouble with trying to be funny is when I'm not.
    2. Angry young men who complain without working to make life a better time are like pigs wallowing. Impotent partisanship is destruction.
    3. What if, when a rocket is in orbit, we count forwards to ten? Would the rocket land?
    The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner: An Eclipse Novella (Twilight Saga)

    April 19, 2010

    Glad I'm Glad I'm (Not), Vacuity, Why Did The Rhino...

      Chicken Little
    1. So-and-so is a glad hander? I don't want to know more.
    2. Just because enquiring minds want to know doesn't mean they should waste their time on the vacuous knowledge of salacial celebrity lives.
    3. You complete it: Why did the rhino stomp the henhouse? 

      April 16, 2010

      Neo Phyte Club, Kangagator Breeding, Rabbot Racing

      The Ultimate Matrix Collection [Blu-ray]
      1. Neophyte. Tough son of a gun, that Neo is. Even as a beginner, he came out fighting.
      2. You complete it: What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and an alligator?
      3. Ever chase a rabbit? 
      The Ultimate Matrix Collection [Blu-ray]

        April 14, 2010

        Switch Hitting, Wiggum Says..., Play Now

        The Simpsons: The Complete Twentieth Season
        1. If you are happy and you know it... you know what to do. If you aren't happy and you know it, drink coffee. Switch from decaf this time.
        2. WWCWD? What would Chief Wiggum do? Clancy?
        3. They say, "Dance as if no one is watching." It looks like advice oft-ignored. Play frequently. 

          April 13, 2010

          Tweet Flashing, FlourMilkEggsSugarChocolate, Knock-knocked-up

          1. I think the lifespan of a Tweet is 18.3 seconds.Has this been studied?
          2. Cake.
          3. Bad knock-knock jokes are bad. I'm preaching to the choir, I hope.

          April 12, 2010

          Beat the Drum Slowly, The Great 101st, Coffee Day

          1. Mondays are a great day to drum your desk or steering wheel while listening to invigorating music.
          2. Passed the 100-day mark for 2010. Time to juice up those New Year's Resolutions. What are yours?
          3. Everyday is Brockeim Coffee Day. Celebrate accordingly. 
           

          April 08, 2010

          Burnt Milk, Angels We Have Heard on High, Cats in Heat

            Anaheim Angels Apron
          1. Milquetoaster... no, doesn't exist. Don't even try it.
          2. Someone suggested I write something about the line, "Where Angels fear to tread." I asked why? This isn't a baseball blog, and I don't live in LA. Or Anaheim.
          3. If the question is, "Why caterwaul?" you haven't tried it, have you?

          April 07, 2010

          Hyperactively Relaxed, Toweling Off, Other Gods

          Libbey Vina Martini Glass, Set of 6
          1. I'm either a martini or cup of coffee short at the moment. If I have both... I will be extremely relaxed.
          2. Lots to love about towels. Never throw yours in. 
          3. The point we argue most vehemently could be more important than the beliefs we claim with less fervency.

          April 06, 2010

          Mickey's D, Gigglefesting, Duke's World

            Levis Women's Misses Hermosa Capri,Safari,4
          1. I heard McDonald's gives away free coffee on Mondays. Please tell me it is not leftover from Sunday.
          2. Laughter is its own virtue. It's OK. Go ahead. Giggle. Hahaha. (That was fun, wasn't it?)
          3. Hatari has nothing to do with an old computer system or hats. It did have something to do with safaris.
           

          April 05, 2010

          Could've Danced All Night, Decarting Online, Go F Yourself

            How To Win Friends and Influence People
          1. There are no human dances that end in flying... no matter how she makes you feel.
          2. What if no one read my blogs or retweeted my Twitter updates? Would I exist? Would you?
          3. "Go f yourself" is not Facebookspeak for, "Go friend yourself." It should be. Profanity is ugliness shaped as words. The world needs more friends.

          April 02, 2010

          Thank God It's Friday, Joy Choice, Happy Country Songs (Huh?)

          1. April 2. It is called Good Friday for a Good Reason. It involves the following Sunday.
          2. Be joyful.
            Be thankful.
            Be hopeful.
            Love life.
            Love others.

            That's no nonsense.
          3. What if all country songs were void of divorce, hoochie women, hoochie men, drunken brawls and laments of a life lived poorly?

          BJ Thomas singing one of those typical sad country songs. Come on, sing along.

          April 01, 2010

          Live Generously, That's Hot, April 2

          Anchor Hocking Café Mug, Mocha, Set of 6
          1. You can be a fool, or you can fool someone, but it is a great day to live generously, to buy a friend an unexpected cup of coffee.
          2. Few things are as attractive as confidence and intelligence.
          3. Tomorrow is April 2. No fools, ides or groundhogs. Celebrate it anyway.