September 30, 2010

Mime Shush, Charmed (I'm Sure), Bratsville

    Adult Men's Mime Halloween Costume
  1. I went to a mime concert. Three guys at once, miming. Before it started, they did a sound check. Whew, that was close.
  2. Can charm be learned?
  3. Sheboygan, WI. Not the nation's tourist destination, but, somehow, a lot of people go there anyway. 
Adult Men's Mime Halloween Costume

September 29, 2010

Huh?, Hoo Dun Id?, Procrastinated Destiny

    The Butler Did It
  1. No, I really don't what you mean, knowwhatimean?
  2. The butler wasn't even in Iraq at the time. Don't blame him.
  3. Reconcile what you must, but, in the end, you know we will both be sitting in a cafe somewhere sucking espressos.
The Butler Did It, Batman

September 28, 2010

Blackberrying a Segway, RT Yourself, Whip It

    BlackBerry Gemini 8520 Unlocked Phone with 2 MP Camera, Bluetooth, Wi-Fi--International Version with No Warranty (Black)
  1. What's the difference between a Blackberry and a Segway?
  2. I love FF in which the person FFing me doesn't actually follow me. Maybe FF means something profane. Tell them to RT themselves.
  3. Too much whipped cream isn't a good thing. It can ruin your coffee, too.

September 27, 2010

Dignity Lost, Happy Hip-Hip, Totalled Screwed

    Milwaukee 49-17-0190 Tool Belt
  1. At some point, be dignified.
  2. I cannot imagine this world if they called the music hop-hip instead of hip-hop. Why not just call boogie-woogie woogie-boogie?
  3. A hammer is not a driver, yet it drives nails into the wood. A screwdriver spins screws, yet is not called a screwspinner.  
Search for tool belt

September 24, 2010

Bauble Bobble, Worldly Humor, Dirty Jokes

Baubles, Buttons and Beads: The Heritage of Bohemia
Baubles, Buttons and Beads: The Heritage of Bohemia
  1. Jim Croce did not sing, "Time in a Bauble."
  2. Laugh and the world laughs with you? What if they don't get the joke?
  3. Do any dirty jokes begin with, "Some mud, silt and compost walked into a bar. One says, "Check out those rocks..."?

The Muppets sing Jim Croce's "Time in a Bottle"

September 23, 2010

Genius, Rosie O'Daisy, You Talkin' To Me?

    Totally Rosie
  1. Dis ingenious, always. Never disingenuous.
  2. Roses or daisies. If you had to choose which are more romantic, which would it? Why? 
  3. I'm not Frasier Crane, and I'm not listening.

September 22, 2010

If If If, Don't Blink, You Are So Wrong

    Don't Blink
  1. If your apologies start with "If I..." then do you really believe you have?
  2. You are about to blink. Will you shut both eyes at once?
  3. Some of the most unreasonable people on the planet are those who agree with me. 

Don't Blink

September 21, 2010

Sunny Side Up or Down?, Elvis Shakedown, What Would Al Gore Say?

    Elv1s 30 #1 Hits
  1. Sunsets or sunrises. If you had to choose which are more beautiful, which would it? Why?
  2. When Elvis Presley sang, "I'm all shook up," he looked unshook to me.
  3. I think we have seen an increase in Tuesdays. Is this a product of global warming?

September 20, 2010

They Can't Steal This, 21st Century Romance, Coffee Saves the World

    Certified Diamond (Heart, Good cut, 8.00 carats, D color, IF clarity)
  1. Only the weak have no choices. Never give away hope.
  2. Polyamory is one thing. Polly's armory? That involves rolling pins, frying pans, and for the well-prepared and scorned, Smith and Wesson's noisemaker.
  3. Problem: Neighbor's Jeep backfires hours earlier than when I hoped to rooster would crow. Solution: Coffee.  
Certified Diamond (Heart, Good cut, 8.00 carats, D color, IF clarity)  (only $914,045.00) According to, "this item ships for FREE with Super Saver Shipping." Good to know.

September 17, 2010

At the BNV, Be All You Can Be, Monday:Friday

    Once In A Lifetime (2005 Remastered Album Version )
  1. Brave New World? I think it is the same as it ever was.
  2. Once, we were five years old, dreaming. Later, 10, then 15 years old. Then, 20, idealistic. Are you doing what you wanted to do, now that you are grown up?
  3. Friday coffee is different than Monday coffee, don't you agree?
Once In A Lifetime (2005 Remastered Album Version )

And, not because it relates, but because I am listening now to Talking Heads music, enjoy the "Burning Down the House" video

September 16, 2010

Wooded Silence Online, That Wasn't Me, Scrub It Out

    Sterling Silver Elephant Pendant with White Sapphire
  1. If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is logged on to hear it...
  2. An elephant is in the room? What, is your nose deaf?
  3. It doesn't all rinse out in the wash.
Sterling Silver Elephant Pendant with White Sapphire
The Elephants, c.1948 Poster Print by Salvador DalĂ­, 36x24

September 15, 2010

Bunnies, You Have Already Passed Go, Breaking It Down

    Plush Bitty Rabbit Mini Flopsie 8"
  1. Another one bites the dust bunny... socks lost forever underneath a couch.
  2. Waiting for things to start?
  3. Coffee breaks don't always involve coffee.

Another Bites the Dust - Wyclef Jean

September 14, 2010

The Skinny, Leafs-A-Million, Renago

    Reigning Cats And Dogs: A Rhymes With Orange Tribute to Those Who Shed
  1. If I lose thousands of skin cells daily, who finds them? Is there a giant skin cell depository out there? My DNA is stamped on those, so please return them to their rightful owner.
  2. Counting leaves on a tree while staring skyward. Not so easy. Give it a go.
  3. Maybe nothing legitimately rhymes with orange, but the letters can be arranged to spell renago. To my best knowledge, it spells nothing. 
Reigning Cats And Dogs: A Rhymes With Orange Tribute to Those Who Shed

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September 13, 2010

No Butts No Bottoms, Palm Monday, Go Bears

    Boudreaux's Butt Paste-16 Oz
  1. There are no such things as bottomless cups of coffee. I tried. Sooner or later, they run out.
  2. If a guy has three hands due to a genetic abnormality, what future for him portends? Three palms? Better than two?
  3. Honey. I understands why bears like it.
You aren't bottomless either. Having trouble with said bottom?  
Try Boudreaux's Butt Paste-16 Oz

September 10, 2010

Charlie Brown (He's a Clown), Juggling (No Clowns), Pot (No Joke)

    Medelco 10 Cup Glass Eurostyle Universal Replacement Carafe - Black
  1. Charlie Brown was an optimist. If he could be, so can you.
  2. Multitasking... how many is too many tasks? Hold on... let me finish this, and that. What were you saying? What? I was saying, not you?
  3. Me to a waitress: Just leave the pot. 
 Search for Charlie Brown

September 09, 2010

What's a Guy Like Me Doing in a Place Like This, Thou Art, Chipper

    PREACHER PARKING church pastor novelty sign
  1. Where have I been all my life?
  2. A church pastor gets an acupuncture, leaves holier than thou.
  3. Chip off the old block? Exactly where is this block? 
PREACHER PARKING church pastor novelty sign